Bonding

Nick: I spent 4 hours today trying to bond my rabbit with a medley of lops and harlequins, all of whom fell madly in love with my triumphant ward and none of whom, apparently, met his ridiculous standards for a mate. What can I conclude? He's either a princess or a big friggin' pimp.

Why do people celebrate dogs, cats, birds, and assorted braindead reptiles only to mock the misunderstood rabbit? In the last twenty-eight years I've had three cats, three dogs, one bird, and, thank god, no snakes or lizards; none has had the personality, individuality, or exhuberance of this six pound maniac, this chiseling Caesar.

If the animal kingdom were Rome, we'd all be Bruti.